remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
