I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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