Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
