No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is Oprah even human
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
