To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
