I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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