i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
