You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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