If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
