Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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