wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
