I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
