i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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