You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
