I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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