You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
