If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Green mimosas i think yes
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
