everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize