I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize