There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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