Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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