Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
