I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
