She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh god it's open bar.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize