the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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