I think im going to throw up on grandma
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
