I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
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Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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