She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
my liver is dry heaving
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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