Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
