You can't special order awesome
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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