Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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