There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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