I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
