I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm too high and old for this...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
