Will you blow on my dice?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
