I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
