Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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