and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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