i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I lost the right to judge tonight
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
