you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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