u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
