remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Even my vagina gasped.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
