I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
