Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Someone signed my nipple.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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