What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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