He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
