her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
