party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
