Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize