You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
