remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize