Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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