hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
