Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

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  (217): My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building. http://tfl.nu/he38
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (1947)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?

  (206): View more from Washington

  neither do i

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  (206): remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot? (206): neither do i http://tfl.nu/7dbm
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (735)
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  (650): View more from California

  my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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  (650): my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp http://tfl.nu/twts
  Replies (13) Good night (2894) Bad night (583)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands

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  (520): my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands http://tfl.nu/9efg
  Replies (14) Good night (4538) Bad night (1393)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.

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  (919): Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required. http://tfl.nu/6ko6
  Replies (6) Good night (5061) Bad night (916)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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  (780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls
  Replies (47) Good night (1398) Bad night (6888)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.

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  (309): cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better. http://tfl.nu/6a1r
  Replies (2) Good night (1155) Bad night (843)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

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  (803): I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver. http://tfl.nu/862b
  Replies (1) Good night (1554) Bad night (592)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order

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  (814): Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything (1-814): Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order http://tfl.nu/zkyg
  Replies (0) Good night (1220) Bad night (435)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.

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  (417): What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now. http://tfl.nu/j4tm
  Replies (9) Good night (658) Bad night (1313)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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  (774): We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot. http://tfl.nu/pm9n
  Replies (7) Good night (1809) Bad night (567)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.

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  (630): First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out. http://tfl.nu/rcq3
  Replies (11) Good night (739) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.

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  (775): I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do (1-775): So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch. http://tfl.nu/xajs
  Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (239)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.

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  (727): Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high. http://tfl.nu/hvl4
  Replies (5) Good night (718) Bad night (210)
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  (714): View more from California

  I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.

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  (714): I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like. http://tfl.nu/0ztf
  Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (225)

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