no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?