at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.