Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
