I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen