His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.