Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

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  (763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481
  Replies (16) Good night (5174) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets

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  (571): the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets http://tfl.nu/d1l9
  Replies (29) Good night (730) Bad night (5271)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

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  (651): I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all. http://tfl.nu/rpqm
  Replies (9) Good night (4134) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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  (785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8
  Replies (28) Good night (766) Bad night (7383)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1342) Bad night (3611)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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  (410): I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it. http://tfl.nu/si6n
  Replies (19) Good night (6574) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.

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  (602): so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes. http://tfl.nu/egav
  Replies (28) Good night (8257) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life

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  (708): i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life http://tfl.nu/nn4z
  Replies (32) Good night (2014) Bad night (6111)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog

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  (713): It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog http://tfl.nu/4hna
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (3515)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'

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  (804): i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better' http://tfl.nu/bjkh
  Replies (4) Good night (2005) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"

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  (334): i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?" http://tfl.nu/0fwx
  Replies (7) Good night (712) Bad night (1626)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.

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  (517): Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now. http://tfl.nu/rvro
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  whose parrot is this?

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  (416): whose parrot is this? http://tfl.nu/79eu
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options

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  (859): I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options http://tfl.nu/2zyd
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.

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  (785): Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting. http://tfl.nu/n8lw
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (726)

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