Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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(561): View more from Florida

The beers last night were like the tears from god

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.

(631): View more from New York

i got hit in the ear.

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(916): View more from California

Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia

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(309): View more from Illinois

I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?

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